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| Am I at THAT age?
The marrying age?
I honestly don't think so, but recently people my age are getting married and producing cute babies!
No no, I'm not against it or anyting, besides, I think it's good for them to choose getting 'legal' rather than collecting 'Hell-points'. (BM: Pahala/Dosa)
And marriage IS one of the Prophet's (PBUH) Calling, so yeah, it's allright.
And some discussion about cutting cost and what not while studying, everything makes sense of course. Lemme start by saying that I'm single and currently not attached or crushing on anyone, despite what some of you might think. =p well, crushing on anyone REAL la. Celebrity crushes is an entirely different topic. I'm a romantic at heart, no matter how brutal I might look on the outside. Korean romantic dramas and English love story books make my heart all warm and tingly. So I'm somewhat unconsiously waiting for those scenes to happen to me. Sparks and fireworks and the whole 10 yards.
I'm a bit on the old-fashion side. Guys MUST make the first move. I can flirt and what not, but the first move goes to the Alpha male. (yes, feel free to make fun of this)
I'm also quite naive, no matter how deceiving I might look. I just don't know things. This reminds me of the Army boys in Tennessee. You la tak bgtau i Da.
I'm also very selective. Education, Career/future, Differences rather than similarities, Language, Height, Habit, what my kids will look like, etc. Yes, I made a list. 
So?
So... all the talk about Fitrah Manusia, or providing my parents with cute pretty Grandchildren (yes, my kids WILL be cute and pretty!), or I don't know, other reasons - the reasons just don't appeal to me until. Not till then. I went to someone's wedding who's part of my grandma/mommy's family and since they ALL know I'm an only child, the only thing they ask of me after saying "beso doh" is, in Kelantanese accent, "cepak cepak la kawen deh. sye kak mok nok chuchu chichik... takdok sapo doh"
And there I was... smiling away. Not sure to take that as a compliment or an insult. I mean, I'm sure they mean well, but seriously. Cakap sekali dah laaaaa. And now, I might just join @warnahujan and raise 40 cats.
But since I'm "allergic" to cats, I guess I just have to opt for 'pet rock' or Hafal-ing the Quran and passing Actuarial exams. Until I'm 50 and old and grey and bitter and don't know that cars fly. But if you ask me "is there a someone out there that caught your eye? that you think is right for you?", I would answer Yes right away.
You know about my having list of what type of person I like, and there're people out there that kinda fits my current updated list.
But since I'm no Taylor Swift, and no matter how much I wish I could say out loud "You belong with meeee~~", I can't. I won't. It's sad, yes, but I'm a Derrida, the deconstructive theorist. Ok, so in all sincerity and seriousness, the whole point of this post is although I'm a romantic at heart, old-fashion, naive and selective, I'm also a believer. Allah's Firman:
"Dan kawinkanlah orang bersendirian (belum kawin) di antara kamuâ?" (an-Nur: 32) So, please feel free to set me up on dates! I believe in YOU! kekekeke.  
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| I was cleaning up my external HD and rearranging documents and folders that were all jumbled up. And so, I believe I went through ALL the pictures that were in there, but I spent the quite a long while looking and remembering the memories with the pictures of my time in INTEC and the previous years here in Chambana.
At some point, the Roomie came and joined me looking and remembering as well.
Sure, the usual "OMG, look at that! Ily, you were thin back then!" and "wow, in some pictures I thought that was me" (again with the hint that I was thinner back then)
But those comments didn't really bother me till "we're not as close as we used to be"
And I reflected on that, and she's right. We don't do random useless things anymore. Sure, random useless things are, well, useless, but that's one of the things that made us and kept us closer.
When we lived in that one room, everything was bare, publicized in its privateness. Sure it's more comfortable now with bigger closet and more space.
But that's just it. Space. Too much of it that we got lost in it. 
I'm not really sure why I'm writing this out. But I do feel like I have to preserve this feeling now.
Suddenly I realize how empty and lonely it is here. Perhaps that was what bothering me all this while.
I need to reconnect with her in every level possible. Not that our relationship is bad or anything now, it's just not as deep. I can't believe I miss her right now! This is so weird, like I'm writing about my lover or someting. LOL.
But she's her, you know. She's prolly one of the few people in this world who knows me in and out.
My sleeping habit, my eating habit, my secrets, my schedule, my lies, my giddy moments, my thoughts and views on things, my mood swings, my future plans, my crushes, my shoe size, my BMI, my hair products, my family members... 
So, anyway, this post is specially dedicate to you, my dear Roomie.
Thank you for everything, and also, I'm Sorry for everything.
I hope everything is close enough to cover EVERYTHING.
I'll make more effort to stop by your room and say "Whatchudooooing" till you have a restraining order on me.
In the mean time, Hwaiting! ^__^
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| When I'm tired and at my wits end, there's no one here to catch me...  
Instead of Math majors, at the rate we're going, we'd better off be in Journalism.  
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| I miss the lots I haven't seen in, say, pfft, 5 years-ish?
Ok, So we're not that close, but I still thank them for being part of my life..
And I do think about them from time to time... When we were in the same high school class...
When we had to go to those dinners with our dads and dads' friends...
When we had to beat the hard-shelled delicious crabs by ourselves, while our dads talked business...
When we basically played by ourselves...
and now, exchanging messages through FB...  Ilyani A. That's how people distinguished us.. by the initials of our fathers' name. lol. She's 6 months preggie now. she's so tiny! Picture was when she was 5 months in. Source: FB. we're FB friends, ok.
 Kak Fizah. Her dad is and has been one of my dad's closest friends since...forever? Source: FB. we're FB friends, ok.
And with this, I have to say, what's with everyone getting married and making babies ni...? And good grief, even Bella Swan had a baby at 18!
Yes, it's the Prophet's calling, and that it's important to 'continue the lineage'... but but but!
Sigh.
I don't like the fact that marriage is the 'in' thing now as much as I loathe the excessive use of auto-tone in K-pop now! 설마... Jealous? Feel left out? Bitter? I think I have some serious self-reflecting to do IF I feel that way... ㅋㅋㅋ
On another note about my friends, one is particularly superficially Funnay.  
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Although we’re thousands of miles away, Kelab UMNO-Chicago (KUC) was able to lend a helping hand by selling the nation’s favorite, Nasi Lemak! (http://217nasi-lemak.blogspot.com) By the end of the rainy and cold day, KUC was able to donate about 1,500,000 IDR for our friends in need in Padang, Indonesia. 
Also, dear family and friends, with the recent misfortunes and God’s test for us that we witnessed this past month, please take this as a reminder, a warning, a lesson… Prayers shan’t be forgotten nor faked. Always remember and be remembered of Allah. Ask for forgiveness, ask for mercy, ask to be with 'golongan orang2 beriman'.  Earthquake in Padang, September
 Tsunami in Samoa, September
 Massive Flood in Phillipines, September
*pictures are from Time.com And oh yeah, on top of that, insurance helps too! Are you covered? Is your family covered? Think of loved ones. Oh, and I'm not just talking about disaster-type of insurance.. Other types such as Life insurance, Car insurance, Homeowner's insurance... etc etc. 
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